Take some time as a family to get involved in the judicial system.

The first Monday in October is the opening day of the Supreme Court. As parents, we are often the sole judge and jury in our family disputes. But I wonder what could have happened if I had convened a family court to help decide family matters.

We would have started by learning about the judicial branch of government. Every person in the family would have been a member of our court by being appointed as a justice, and taken turns as chief justice. We would have talked about how we would resolve family disputes, reviewed our rules of order for court, and decided on the specifics of how and when our family court would operate.

When our court convened, we would have started by affirming our goal of being fair and our intention of mediating family disagreements. Each family member could bring any topic before our court, from sibling quarrels to disputed consequence for rules infractions. We would have chosen the situation to be brought before our family court and called court to order.

Our family court would have heard all sides of a situation. Each person would have time to tell his or her story uninterrupted. The other side would then have an equal turn. As the court, we would ask impartial questions to clear up any misunderstandings. Once all the facts were in evidence, a resolution could be discussed and rendered. Our goal would not be to simply deliver judgment, but to encourage conflict resolution and family cohesiveness. While every decision might not turn out favorably for everyone, our intention would be to help us all understand the conflict and remedy it.

By having a family court, my children would have been able to learn and practice many skills. They could have practiced impartiality when listening to a particular argument. They could have practiced conflict resolution when arguments became heated. They could have practiced listening and speaking skills when presenting an argument. They could have understood the consequences of an action by realizing the steps involved leading up to the conflict. They could have learned to respect authority by realizing there are people to whom they would have to report. They could have learned r responsibility by deciding the outcome of a debate. They could have learned to understand another person's position by listening to and seeing from a sibling's (or parent's) perspective.

There are times when a parent has to be the sole and final authority in a child's life. But by allowing children to take part in decisions that involve the lives of others, we give them opportunities to understand how people interact and to understand ways their actions can affect others. Children learn by doing, and by practicing at home they can develop skills enabling them to resolve conflicts and situations in everyday life.

About the Author:

Luanne Davidson is the proud mother of three adult children and wonders what might have been if she had done a thing or two differently. She writes her "Coulda, Woudla, Shoulda" column each Thursday.

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