Changes in life can be about fear, but how do we let our fear show?

I recently found out I am pregnant with my second child, and all of a sudden the house, car, and life we have were no longer good enough. I struggled for about a week, thinking I must find a bigger house, newer, bigger car, and all the amenities I thought we would need as we transitioned our family from three people to four. After my struggle had taken what little energy I had left, I decided to stop. This was getting me nowhere fast.

When I slowed down, I realized that things were not as "bad" as I thought they were. I realized that our home can be rearranged. Do we really use the guest room? Yes it’s one of my favorite rooms in the house, but am I willing to give that up to keep my new Quiet Room? Is our car really too small? We may not be able to hold any other adults besides us, but do we really need to? At the end of this questioning, I decided it was time to reevaluate my attitude and how I viewed things. It seems the excitement of a new baby seemed to send me into an anxiety whirlwind about needs versus wants.

So I answered the questions and found that we can live life without a guest room, can fit another car seat in our CR-V, and would still have plenty to be grateful for. As I was going through this internal battle, I did think about what it must look like to see me in “I NEED.” Really, it’s not pretty. I begin to doubt everything I am, think that everything I have is not good enough, and just really begin to beat myself up.

How did my attitude affect those around me? When I act this way, does my daughter see this? Is she learning to think that the things and life she has are not good enough?

This really floored me. To think that I could be teaching my daughter some traits that really are not necessary all because, really, I am a little afraid of being a parent again. I know I can do it, but there's something about realizing that you are about to be trusted with another life that begins to pull at my fear string. But I cannot let fear run my life.

So today, I seek to be grateful for what we have and enjoy the exciting time we have ahead of us, preparing for our newest family member. A life of simplicity and prudence is my new goal. To live simply keeps me out of wasting, wanting, and being victimized, and those are some great ways I can save the world! All it takes is a change in my perspective.

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