Celebrate your child's growing independence as they move from childhood on up.

July 4th is a great day of national celebration. It can be a day full of family fun, neighborhood picnics, and community fireworks. July 4th is the perfect day for children to learn about our country's beginnings. But just as I celebrated our country's independence on July 4th, I should have recognized all those independence days my children accomplished and honored their newly acquired freedoms.

We could have started with "Bottles/Diapers/Pacifiers Independence Day." Each of these items has a very important role in a child's life. But none of my three children were still using them upon their high school graduation, so they declared their independence from them sometime. Relinquishing bottles, diapers, and pacifiers are some of the first independent steps a child takes, so why not commemorate these days? These events may pass by unnoticed until you realize that your child hasn't used a diaper in weeks, or the bottle hasn't made it out of the cabinet in days. Maybe your child has gone to sleep unaided for several nights and the pacifier now rests in the dog's bed.

Whenever you notice this independence, celebrate it! Talk to your child and praise him or her for this monumental step in life. Have a family party for the honoree. Take your child to the store to purchase that which he has recently given up, and together donate your purchase to a shelter that needs it. Buy new big boy or girl undies or a special mug to commemorate the occasion. Celebrate your child's independence in these early stages to support their efforts and give them confidence as they grow.

Celebrate "Tricycle/Training Wheels Independence Day." Riding a bicycle is a progressive undertaking. Each new bicycle requires new skills and continued practice for mastery. "Taking off the training wheels" is literally a metaphor for a child's life as he has to let go of known security to explore new adventures. Celebrate those days of physically moving to new challenges by taking pictures, phoning family and friends, and recording your child's feelings about this occasion.

Allow your child to pass along the old cycle to a younger child, and let him teach the new owner all about bicycle riding. By honoring each forward step, we support our children, increase their self-confidence, and encourage them to keep aspiring for new goals.

Celebrate "Babysitters Independence Day." One day it will happen - you will go out and leave your child alone for the first time. You've prepared them and you know you're both ready for this step. Celebrate this day by taking them out for a grown-up lunch. Foot the bill for a babysitting course. With the money you save on babysitters, offer to pay your child for tasks to be completed in your absence. While the first time alone may be a scary time for everyone, it's a significant step in independence. Honor this day as you did when your child took his first steps - by recognizing it as the day he or she takes those first steps toward adulthood.

We want our children to grow up, and then watch them grow up too quickly. By encouraging and honoring their independence, we give them the courage to keep going. By celebrating those days they gain that independence, we assure our children of our unending and unconditional love.

About the Author:

Luanne Davidson is the proud mother of three adult children and wonders what might have been if she had done a thing or two differently. She writes her "Coulda, Woudla, Shoulda" column each Thursday.

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