What kind of book will you and your family write?

When I was growing up and needed to know something, I turned to the World Book Encyclopedia. But not everything that I, and later my children, needed to know was available in print. Had I thought about all the things that would have been helpful for my children to learn and confirm, I would have written my own books.

The books could have been as simple as a spiral notebook or as fancy as a leather bound hardback. When my children were younger, we would have read the books together until they were readers themselves. The books would be our family's books, unique to our situation.

My first book would have been "Family Rules." As moms, we generally create rules as needed for our family, amending and discarding them when necessary. But sometimes our children don't know or remember what we expect of them. By having a written guide about everything from sibling interaction to television and video game usage, our children become aware of the limits we set and can learn to respect them. A family rules book could have input from all family members, allowing for changes and new rules as needed. It could include consequences. By providing a hard copy for reference, there would be little confusion about how our family is expected to behave.

Another book would have been "Procedures." This book would have been about all those tasks that made our home work. I would have included a section on washing clothes from sorting to folding (with diagrams if needed) and another on installing a new toilet tissue roll (with step by step instructions). I would have included checklists for certain tasks to insure that cleaning the den included picking up toys, emptying the trash, and dusting. We could have included everything from emergency situations to simple first aid. By having a home "how to" guide, children can learn to effectively complete all the responsibilities that keep a home running and become adept in everyday situations.

The best book would have been "Why I Love You." This book would have as many volumes as there were children. As a mom, we know we love our children. Everyday we are reminded of our love for them in many different ways. This book would include why we realized that we loved them on a particular day. Maybe it was because they played with a sibling all day without arguing. Maybe it was because they volunteered to give up something. Maybe it was because you shared a moment, or a meal, or a thought. But on that particular day and for that particular reason, you realized all over again that you were in love with this child. On the days when a child felt lonely or sad or unloved, he or she could read for themselves how much they are loved and why.

Children learn from us everyday. They want to please us and to do their best. By providing a written record of things we want to teach them, we provide a fair way for them learn and remember those lessons that matter most to us.

About the Author:

Luanne Davidson is the proud mother of three adult children and wonders what might have been if she had done a thing or two differently. She writes her "Coulda, Woudla, Shoulda" column each Thursday.

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